I saw a frog, he winked at me.
I wondered what he could see.
Was he tickled by a flea?
Maybe bit by a bumble bee?
Pecked by a bird in a tree?
No his feet are just smelly.
Now for something different. I have a friend Carolyn Short who published a book of cat jokes. I thought they were funny and before she sent them off to the publisher, she asked me to look at them and make suggestions. I had so much fun that when I wrote a frog poem, I wanted to write jokes to go along with it. Since jokes can't be copyrighted, I didn't think it worth trying to get the things published. So these have sat in my drawer for a few years. I think all kids like to try writing jokes, maybe you'd like to try your own hand at dog or fish jokes, maybe insect jokes. (I personally would rather see your poems, but if you're having fun writing, that is the important thing.) So here are all of my ridiculous frog jokes. Once I got started I couldn't stop myself.
Q: What did the frog call his aunt?
A: Aunt Phoebe Ann (amphibian)
Q: What do bull frogs eat on a diet?
A: They eat LITE with fireflies.
Q: Why was the frog arrested?
A: He was a peeper.
Q: How do you catch a tree frog?
A: Stand on a branch and make a sound like a baby chick—peep, peep.
Q: Why did the frog get a construction job?
A: He liked to ribbet, ribbet. (rivet)
Q: Why did the frog take a glove to the ballgame?
A: He wanted to catch flies.
Q: What did the frog say to the rabbit?
A: Hoppy Easter.
Q: What is a frog’s favorite dessert?
A: Shoo Fly Pie.
Q: What is a frog’s favorite year?
A: Leap Year.
Q: Where does a beatnik frog live?
A: On his pad.
Q: What did the frog think of the pond?
A: It was toad-ally awesome.
Q: What did the boy yell when a frog stole his backpack?
A: Catch that croak.
Q: What did the frog say about his homework?
A: I’m swamped.
Q: What is green, has warts and weighs 300 lbs.?
A: A really fat frog.
Q: When do frogs have 12 legs?
A: When there are three of them.
Q: What frog was an Indian?
A: Chief Sitting Bullfrog.
Q: What frog is a famous cowboy?
A: Hop-along Cassidy.
Q: What frog is a famous gossip columnist?
A: Hedda Hopper.
Q: What did the tadpole say to the parrot?
A: Hi! I’m Polly too. (polliwog)
Q: What is the frog’s favorite song?
A: Fly Me To The Moon.
Q: What do frogs in Pamplona, Italy do each spring?
A: Watch the running of the Bull frogs.
Q: What does a frog like best about school?
A: Recess, he likes to glide on the slide.
Q: What does a frog do during recess?
A: Play hopscotch and leap frog.
Q: Where do you find a frog?
A: It depends on where you left it.
Q: Why did the frog try out for the baseball team?
A: He was good at catching flies.
Q: What do frogs say on January 1st?
A: Hoppy New Year.
Q: What is a tree frog’s favorite game?
Q: What is a frog’s favorite card game?
A: Go Fish.
Q: What do you get when you cross a frog with an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.
Q: Why did the frog eat fireflies?
A: He wanted a light snack.
Q: What noisy frog lives at the lighthouse?
A: A frog horn.
Q: In Venice, what do frogs use to move their gondolas?
Q: Why did the boy keep a frog in his pocket?
A: It made him feel hoppy.
Q: What do you call it when a boy has a frog in his throat?
Q: What did the frog family name their babies?
A: Polly Wog, and Tad Pole.
Have fun writing.