A mermaid swimming
in the deep blue sea
was sad as sad
as a mermaid can be.
“I'm tired of living
down here in the sea.
I want to fly off and see
what there's to see. “
Said a whale swimming by,
“Please don't leave me,
for you are our beauty
of the deep blue sea.”
“Oh, I'm going,” said the mermaid.
“And I'm leaving soon.
I want to ride
in a hot air balloon.”
“No, don't go away.
Please don't even try.
In a hot air balloon,
you'd surely die.”
“Can't you see,
I want to be free.
Up in the air
I want to fly.”
“Then I'll tell you
what I can do.”
said the whale trying
to be a friend true. (yes, I know this
is a reversal, it needs work.)
“If you lie upon my blowhole
I'll try to help with your flight goal.
I'll blow a spout,
shoot it high
up in the sky,
you will fly.
“You can have a look.
I'll give you the ride,
and when you're done
come down inside
the deep, deep,
blue, blue sea
to be with me,
my beauty.”
So the mermaid lay upon the spout
and let the whale
blow her out.
She went flying
ever so high
and enjoyed the view
from in the sky.
Then she flew
back into the sea
and once more
was glad she could be
the mermaid from
the deep blue sea.
She shared with everyone
her beauty
and stories about
flying wild and free.
Happy Monday, I'm busy working on my taxes. This poem is definitely a draft. I'll keep working on it. (Is it as bad as I think it is? I shouldn't have gotten up this morning.) Any suggestions? Just enjoy thinking about the friendship between a whale and a mermaid. Can you write a very short poem of a conversation between them?
I like it... and I like the idea... and I CAN SEE THE PICTURES. ILY
ReplyDeleteThank you for leaving your comment. I really needed it today. YES, I can see the pictures too, especially of the mermaid being blown sky high out of the water. The blue swirls of the water for most of this would be beautiful, and I see the whale as a big, sweet, clumsy oaf.
DeleteI love the story, Joy. I have one suggestion: Can you find several words (adverbs I guess) that describe her 'beauty' in different ways so that the rhythm of the poem isn't stopped by that each time, unless you like it that way. Right now I can think of salty beauty (not very good), piscine beauty, golden beauty (aren't the scales usually gold?), & shimmery beauty. And, why can't it be 'friend true'? Is that wrong?
ReplyDeleteGreat suggestions, Linda. I'll work on this one.
ReplyDeleteTrue is an adjective describing the friend. Normally the adjective goes in front of the noun, so the reversal forces the rhyme. But you are a true friend and I appreciate your trying to cheer me up--and trying to keep me from abandoning this poem. At least I got the general idea down.
Maybe I had Gollum's words in my head from LORD OF THE RINGS, "My Beauty."
the story is a wonderful thought, of a friend trying hard to help, but wanting to keep that friend too-age-old dilemma! I think you shouldn't let it go...
DeleteA draft with a whale of a future! Couldn't resist the pun.
ReplyDelete