orange and white,
sat a witch's broom
on Halloween night.
Zoom, zoom, zoom.
Cat flew up.
Cat flew down.
Cat flew all
around our town.
So scared, doesn't know
what to do.
Can't get off,
doesn't know how.
Poor little cat
Do you have your costume for Halloween? Will you go trick-or-treating? Can you write a poem about your costume?
Editing and Revising. I keep reading this poem and wonder about the lay-out. I'm thinking about making the type in the lines of the second stanza go up and down like the cat. And wonder if the third and fourth stanzas should be reversed. What do you think?
When I started to revise this poem, I noticed that I used a lot of onomatopoeia--
sound words. Zoom, boo-hoo, and meow are all examples. As a poet, I love the sound and feel of words. I like the taste of them on my tongue. Notice how your lips and mouth move as you say each of the onomatopoetic words. Isn't it fun? (It is also good exercise for your smile muscles.)
I like the placement of these words in the poem. For me, it is like saying, "Let's pause for a moment for a hug from the poem."
I have a tendency to over use s and soft a sounds, so I went back to look at my poem again. I considered changing sat in the third line of the first stanza. If I changed that word to rode would I have more action in the line? On consideration, I liked that sat rhymed with cat, and using that word give me some internal rhyme, so I chose to stay with cat.
In the second stanza, the last line--I had originally written "around this town." I changed it to our so I could get more assonance into the line. I thought I'd share this information with you so you can see the process poets go through in revising their poems. Every word in a poem counts and gives weight to the line.
Have fun with your own revisions and if you have suggestions for revising my poems, please let me know.
Thanks for your help.